an Other Species monologue
TONKA is SITTING, MEDITATING, EYES CLOSED. HE makes occasional ANIMAL NOISES (grunts, growls, whimpers, etc.) as if having a DREAM.
Time time time's coming up coming up fast feel it feel it feel it oooh there it is right at the bottom right there where the nuts were oooh feel it feel it there it is time's coming time time - What's He doing, Him Him, moving doing ? Nothing nothing stone still stock still and I am not here, I and Time and He is not moving. Shit.
(HE begins PACING faster and faster)
Time time time's coming up fast there it is there it is right at the bottom feel it
feel it where the nuts were but I am not here, I am not here and He is stock still
still still and pace is what I oughta do, pace pace pace will make Him see and pace around
pace around pace pace pace will make Him move and do and -,
(HE SITS; pause)
Sit sit and sit (I can't move) sit (I can't move) sit (I can't move) sit sit and (I
dare not) sit (there it is) sit (time's coming) sit (time's coming) sit does He see me?)
sit sit (is He moving?) sit (I fear not) squirm (there it is) squirm (there it is) squirm
squirm (nuts) squirm (nuts) squirm (right where the) squirm (nuts were) pace (damit) pace
pace (damit) pace pace pace (there ! He's moving!) jump (He's moving!) jump jump (where's
He going?) follow (where's He -?) tag (wrong path) tag (shit) tag (shit) too close (watch
out !) -
(HE SITS, flinching)
Yelling, yelling, He yells. Yells at everything. Yells at the Flushing White Rock He sits on or stands in front of every morning and every evening and times in between when his morning and evening and times in between when His time comes up fast (oooh there it is there it is).
Yells at the Flashing Square Box He sits in front of every night, where the Master
Voices babble at each other. Yells into the Little Ringing Rock that He breaks in half and
holds to His ear. Yells at the Big Rolling Dragons when we are Outside and we are crossing
the Corner (oooh there it is there it is feel it feel it) and the Big Rolling Dragons get
close enough to devour us. He yells! And why does He yell now? Why? Because I tag a little
too close to the Master Walkers? Because I am a little too eager for the unexpected
directive? Is devotion something tripped over ungratefully? Hmph! I think not.
(HE MOVES grudgingly to ORIGINAL AREA)
Well, at least I'm noticed. He knows I'm here. He sees me and knows the time's coming up fast.
(HE SITS; POUTS)
Wait, wait, and wait. Sometimes I think He does it to me deliberately. As if He feels it getting closer to the time and He says to Himself "Let's see what you're made of, Tonka. Let's see how long you can take it, Tonka" and suddenly he becomes "The Block Of Stone", "The Starer in Space", "The Tormentor Of Tonka". As if all my loyalty and devotion and cuteness mean nothing. As if my willingness to be mutilated and belled and ribboned and wrapped and boxed is expected. As if the desire to hear my own voice waft liltingly over the horizon is an act of treason. As if the cowering and shaking and lapping and licking and begging is for my own amusement. Ha! Wait, wait, and wait for the Voice to say Do This, Get This. As if the deciphering of inflections, the making plain of inconsistencies, the incomprehensible posing and placing of me in shocking and embarrassing positions is for my own amusement! I cry for sanity! Without me you have no purpose! Without me you are alone! Why, you have even cut off my balls so that you may have company in your sexless misery! I can only pad surreptitiously to the Big Door of my Neighboring Bitch and sniff of things that cannot be. But then so do you sniff at that same Big Door of your Neighboring Mistress and make bargains that will be broken or that you cannot hope to keep. You are gray and past your prime and so you deny me mine as well! Of course, you bathe me, and are affectionate to me sometimes without my prodding; I sleep well and long and am allowed to move about freely when I am awake. There is that. But why do I suffer the indignities, the slights, the recriminations? Why? Because I am a slave to inconsistency and have no access to the Door.
(HE SITS UP, sudenly ALERT)
Time's here time's here now must move must go
(moves about frantically)
must get there get to that Spot that Place that Corner that Smell my Smell my Place my Corner before it is stolen, wettened, spoiled, eliminated of Me Me Me make Him move make him get up, go, push Him to the Door drag Him to the Door, ignore His threats His warnings His Will time's here time's come feel it feel it oooh there it is there it is right at the bottom right where the nuts were right -
"TIME FOR A WALK !"
Open (go in) Close (wait)
(HE STANDS AT ATTENTION)
At this point I must tell you I much prefer the Lift rather than the Stairs, as the Stairs are slippery and I am small and my nails do not give the friction and therefore I stumble clumsily to the bottom. The Lift, on the other hand, is like floating and provides an excuisite anticipatory period before floating ends, bottom is reached, and the final push towards Outside is begun.
Open (go! strain (go!) strain (go!) strain tug (yank!) tug (yank!) push (to the right) push (to the right) push (past the Master Walkers) push (over the slippery floor) push push push (to the light) push (to the light) push (to the Clear Doors) uh-oh (look who's coming) uh-oh (from the Outside) uh-oh (the Neighboring Bitch) uh-oh (she's pushy) uh-oh (no mercy) uh-oh (she's here) careful (all over me) careful (all over me) sniff (Bitch) sniff (Bitch) sniff (no point) sniff (no balls) careful (hide!) careful (behind Him) careful (can't get to me) awful (will He go?) awful (will He go now?) awful (He talks) awful (to the Neighboring Mistress) awful (no point it) awful (no balls He) Ah! (He's turning) Ah! (He's leaving) push (time's here) push (time's come) there (feel it) there (oooh) there (the Glass Doors) there (the Anticipation) there (I wait) there (they open) there (I go forth) there (the Outside) there (the Sounds) there (the Smells) there (to the left) there (to the distance) there (waiting) there (the Spot) there (the Stain) there (Me) there (the Corner) there . . . Release . . . Aaaahh.
Darryl Curry, 1991
The Elephant Piece